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Have you ever noticed that when you’re thinking about buying a new car, you suddenly see that exact model everywhere? Or when you learn a new word, it suddenly pops up in conversations, books, and even on social media? That’s not magic—it’s your brain’s Reticular Activating System (RAS) at work.
The RAS is a small but powerful bundle of nerves in your brainstem that acts as a filter, deciding which information gets through to your conscious mind. Every second of the day your brain is being bombarded with millions of pieces of information - sounds, sights, smells - but you’re only aware of a tiny fraction of them. That’s because your RAS prioritises what you focus on. If you tell your brain something is important, it will find more of it in your world.
How the RAS affects your mental health
For young people, the way they use their RAS can have a profound effect on their mental well-being. If their internal dialogue is filled with self-doubt, fear of failure, or negativity, their RAS will reinforce those beliefs by drawing their attention to evidence that supports them. They’ll notice every mistake, every rejection, every time they feel like they don’t belong.
On the flip side, if they learn to train their RAS to focus on strengths, possibilities, and positive outcomes, they will start noticing opportunities, supportive people, and signs of progress. This isn’t about ignoring problems or pretending everything is perfect—it’s about choosing what to highlight in their experience so they can build resilience and optimism.
Shifting focus: A practical guide
So, how can parents help their young people train their RAS in a way that supports their mental health? Here are some simple but powerful strategies:
Encourage positive self-talk
Help your child notice and reframe negative thoughts. Instead of “I’ll never be good at this,” encourage them to say, “I’m still learning, and I’m improving all the time.”
Set clear intentions
If a young person starts the day thinking, “I want to find something good about today,” their RAS will be primed to notice positive moments. Journaling or simply stating intentions out loud can reinforce this shift.
Use the power of visualisation
Athletes use this all the time - imagining themselves succeeding before they actually do. Encourage your teen to visualise themselves doing well in school, making friends, or achieving a goal. The RAS will work to find evidence that supports this vision.
Gratitude and appreciation
A daily gratitude habit rewires the brain to look for the good. Even something as simple as asking, “What went well today?” at dinner can shift focus to positive experiences.
Be mindful of media and conversations
The information your child consumes shapes their focus. If they are constantly exposed to negativity, whether through social media, news, or critical voices, their RAS will keep scanning for more of the same. Help them choose their input to include uplifting, empowering content.
The parent’s role: Modelling the shift
Young people learn by watching the adults around them. If you, as a parent, model resilience, optimism, and an intentional focus on solutions rather than problems, they will pick up on that. Instead of saying, “This is going to be a terrible day,” try, “Let’s find something to look forward to.” Instead of dwelling on a mistake, talk about what can be learned from it.
By guiding young people to train their brains to focus on what they want, rather than what they fear, you’re helping them build confidence, motivation, and emotional resilience, all skills that will serve them for a lifetime.
Final thoughts
Your child’s RAS is always working, whether they’re aware of it or not. By understanding how it shapes their perception and experience, you can help them use it in a way that leads to a healthier, more positive mindset. And the best part? This isn’t just for young people, parents can benefit from it too!
Start shifting your focus today, and watch how your world changes.
Further reading:
Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Bantam Books.
Peale, N. V. (1952). The Power of Positive Thinking. Simon & Schuster.
Doidge, N. (2007). The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science. Viking Press.
If you’d like more support in helping your child build emotional resilience and a positive mindset, feel free to get in touch, I'm here to help.
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